I shared this (below) on my IG account yesterday, but I wanted to share here, too, because it ties in so much with our workshop to end the year. One thing that really struck me as I was doing my own personal work was when and how I let love in. When I fell in love with Rob and each of my children, I felt a need, a lacking in my life and in myself, and I was looking for someone to complement me and my life, to fill a space that wanted to be full. With this baby, this is the first time that I am falling in love, while feeling whole.
It’s an interesting thing to think about. Is it easier for you to let love in or to give love out? Have any of you truly fallen in love while feeling complete? There is no wrong or right, good or bad. It’s just fascinating to think about how we allow love to manifest in our hearts
Becoming pregnant with this baby, I believe, will be one of my greatest lessons in love. When I was pregnant with Huxlie, my son was stillborn just 9 months before, and she and her pregnancy carried this all-encompassing weight of ‘need.’ I needed her to survive. Her survival meant mine. I needed her alive for me to feel ok, for me to trust my body, for my family begin, for the next chapter of my life to start. To this day, I think she still feels my desperation for her. Her empathy and intuition of feelings is like no one else’s I’ve met. I hope she doesn’t need too much therapy for this later 😝🤞
With Piper’s pregnancy, I had been through an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage before she arrived. I ‘needed’ her to complete my family. To complete the image that I had in my mind of what I wanted my home and heart to look like… It was like I needed Huxlie to start my family and I needed Piper to complete it.
But with this one, this may be the very first time in my life that I’ve fallen in love without feeling a ‘need’ attached to it. The very first time that I felt complete and whole while falling in love. It may sound small, but I think it’s really big. It has made this pregnancy so joyful (hence the name, Frankie Joy) not placing this pressure on the other person to fill a need, to complete me or my life in some way. And of course through the weeks and months, I have grown a very special attachment to this soul, but it feels different. And I’m sure this is just the beginning of what I’m meant to learn from her. She is the best surprise I could never have prepared for🙏✨