/// A T R I P . D O W N . M E M O R Y . L A N E ///
March 23, 2018

This weekend we had a pretty big, bad thing happen here at OULA Fitness. Our Vimeo account was shut down, which is where we have over 700 videos stored. It was shut down due to to a promo video that we have hosted on the site that is a public video, which is how we got flagged (Taylor Swift, of course). Looooooong story short, we have 72 hours to pull everything off of our old profile and upload it to a new one. We have to start at the end (or the beginning of Oula) and work our way to the most recent so that the videos are in the correct order and it has been such an emotional trip for me.
Each song has such a memory for me. Seeing where the videos were filmed, watching my body grow and shrink with each of my babies, remembering the “why” for each song and the reason it was chosen at the moment. There are videos of me that I filmed in my basement because I was either on modified bed rest or not supposed to be teaching, so I remember getting the guts up to film these songs, then immediately laying back down. All of this so that I didn’t let anyone down. So that everyone had their songs when I promised them. Or watching others in these videos instead of myself, which always meant that my pregnancies were at a risky time that I couldn’t even dance for the 3 minutes it would take to record them.
Because they all have a timestamp on them I got to see the songs that came out right at conception for each of my children, after Bodie’s death and the girls’ births. I don’t usually think of my life in such absolute terms as when each of my babies came into my life, but because I am seeing little snapshots of my body at least once a week for the past 7 years, it has been a truly fascinating day. The songs that came out at all of the life mile-markers are so, so insane to think about, too!
I’m tired. I’m dealing with a lot of stress and bs right now and taking the day to look through this labor of love has been kind of wild. Shocking how much I love it and how hard I’ve worked for it. Every single day for the last 7 years. Watching my babies grow and die and live and remain in my body, in my life, in these songs. Seeing the metamorphasis of not only my body but my spirit, too. This “task” sucks A LOT right now, but I knew there was a reason for it, and I think part of it has been a really interesting reframe for me.
Anyways, I’m off to teach. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Thanks for being a part of my story and for allowing me to be a part of yours. May the energy and spirit of our stories continue to dance with one another to these songs and more for a long time. <3

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